Crap books

How to make money

Guaranteed pointers for a lifetime of financial success! Including:

  • Be born into a rich family
  • Create a successful film franchise
  • Invent something everyone wants to buy
  • Correctly predict the financial markets

And many more!

“If It’s Too Much Trouble, It’s Not Worth Doing” – a guide to DIY for useless men

  • Rawlplugs – who needs ‘em?
  • Flood your kitchen in five easy steps
  • Plastering – anyone can do it, right?
  • Sledgehammers: your indiscriminate friend
  • Duct tape – the universal building material
  • Choose your screwdriver: flat-blade, Philips or butter knife?
  • Circuit breakers – an unnecessary expense

Divorce for beginners

Married men! Sick of Strictly on a Saturday night? Dreading the visit to your in-laws? Not seeing enough of your mates?

You need – a DIVORCE!

Regain control of your life with an insidious campaign of misery and detachment until she can’t stand it any longer! Includes advice on how to expertly:

  • Come home late smelling of drink
  • Concoct half-arsed excuses
  • Ignore phone calls
  • Forge hotel invoices and scatter them around the kitchen
  • Pick fights about nothing
  • Fall asleep within seconds of getting into bed
  • Stare into space during conversations

* comes free with a pre lipsticked shirt collar and empty contraceptive wrapper for placement in suit pocket